oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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