so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
