ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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