I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We smell like vodka and hangover
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