I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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