Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
