she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
