She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize