Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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