Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
