Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's never too late to be topless.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
