I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
