I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize