yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
