I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
