Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Boobs are out for the taking
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
