woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
