im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
