I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize