I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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