You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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