Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
