I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
