Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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