Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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