glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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