Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
