I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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