Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
