Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
