he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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