If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize