I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
