were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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