We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had to cum in my sink.
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