So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
