I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
