Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
