Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

Fav 5 5915 877
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(941): View more from Florida

I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star

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(619): View more from California

We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.

Fav 8 3941 1272
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

Fav 6 2102 1559
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(925): View more from California

WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.

Fav 8 1008 1879
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(904): View more from Florida

And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface

Fav 2 786 522
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(208): View more from Idaho

I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.

Fav 1 35 47
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