Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
