I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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