so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
