i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
