fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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