I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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