we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
