turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it because I queefed?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
as a side note pls kill me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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