She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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