i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
COCAINE IS GR8
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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