i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
