I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
