marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
