I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
