But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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