Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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