You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize