My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
