How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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