i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
