New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
