Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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