susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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