just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
