Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
