Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
