he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
