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• (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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• (707): View more from California

  You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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• (516): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...

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• (716): View more from New York

  while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"

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• (818): View more from California

  Tell me how you feel about belly buttons

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday

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