he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
