why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
