I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Two words: blizzard sex
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
