Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
