I haven't been this sober since birth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
