i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
