Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
two words...techno handjob
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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