He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize