Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
