I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
