you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
